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The queer quarter life crisis


As I entered year 25 of my life, I was convinced I was going through a quarter-life crisis. My world was falling apart, I felt hurt instead of happiness. I felt defeated, instead of empowered. I was ready to give up. I was ready to end everything because I didn’t understand why my entire being was off balance. I couldn’t understand how I was giving so much love out to the universe, and not keeping any for myself. I couldn’t understand how with each passing day, I was losing a little more of me. I was changing rapidly, I was giving in to everything I was against. I was living with chains around soul and duct tape over my mouth. I was trapped… I hated the sunlight, and people and constantly wanted to crawl under a rock. I felt the most misunderstood I have ever felt in my life. I was smiling to hide the pain. I was choosing love over self growth and stability. I was choosing someone else instead of me. I wasn’t the change I wanted to see in the world….

At the beginning of each year, each and every one of us strives to achieve something. Mainly our goals, even if some may seem sort of impossible for now. We still put them down, and tell ourselves that one day it will be possible. We may get discouraged along the way but the key is to not give up. The key is to know exactly what you want, and to go get it. We all just need to take a minute, and breathe. We have to realise that there’s going to be times in our lives where we feel like we’re going through a internal crisis, and it’s perfectly ok. It’s ok to not always be strong. It’s ok to feel like you’re unstable for a moment or two. We’ve got to turn grief into happiness, we’ve got to turn despair into success.

Here’s what we have to realise:

Firstly to achieve success, we need to adjust our lifestyle entirely. What we’re doing, simply can not contradict what we want and where we want to end up. It’s all fun and games, until you fail a task, then you want to play the blame shifting game. Take responsibility for your actions, and own it. No matter how big or how small. It only makes you a better person. Take, for instance, the word failure. Failure is a paradox; failure is the opposite of success, yet without failure there can be no success. Without the yin, the yang cannot exist, and visa versa. Error is integral to learning. To learn to succeed is to learn to fail. We must remind ourselves we never lose; we either win, or learn. We ever never lose.

Trust me, I have failed and I have messed up, and the scale off my failure seemed to outweigh even the strength of my own mind. I’ve been off balance, I’ve been ashamed, I’ve been at a point where I didn’t even have self love. I’ve wanted to give up, too many times to be honest. But what I have learned along the way is that some failure in life is inevitable. You have to fail, in order to learn. You have to fail to grow, you have to fail to pick yourself up. In case you’re wondering, you have to fail at relationships too. You can’t live a life that is too cautious, because if you do, you might as well not have lived at all and in that case you fail by default and you learn nothing.

So ask yourself this :

When did you decide to set a limit for yourself?

How long ago did you decide?

Is limiting yourself, beneficial to your own growth?

The sad reality is that, more often than not , in life, we subconsciously set boundaries for ourselves. By doing this we rob ourselves off an opportunity to actually see where our true limits lie. You got to understand that the only thing that’s going to make you happy, in this year or any other, is to step the hell up. You’ve got to raise the standard to discover what you’re capable off. You owe it to yourself, to allow your being to feel that incredible power of pushing through whatever’s holding you back. That’s what this life is all about, pushing boundaries and challenging our minds, finding places within ourselves that you didn’t even know existed.

Most of us go through life with our brakes on, thinking its Tokyo Drift, when we don’t even have the slightest idea off how to drift, let alone drive. If there’s anything you should be thinking about for the this year and your life , it’s to decide that you’re going to push yourself. It’s to make the active effort into being unstoppable.

You have got to live your life with passion, because the progress obtained is the happiness that’s going to resonate within your soul.

Believe in yourself!!

You want power, give yourself power.

There is nothing more powerful than a changed mind. You can change your hair, your clothing, your bae, your city, but if you don’t change your mind the same experience, the same disasters will perpetuate itself over and over and mother freaking over again.

If you want something great out of life, if you want to achieve or acquire something, if there is some goal you want, if you want to make folks proud of you, you have got to change your negative habits at your core.

If you want something great, you have got to be relentless. No one can judge effort, because effort is between you and you.

Give it everything you got!!!

Stop being afraid to take chances and leap. Let’s stop being slaves to our fears. Fear is a choice. It is a choice. We choose to become slaves, because we choose fear. Take for example, how non Arabs fear Arabs on airplanes!! They choose to be paranoid about a situation, that’s beyond their own control. You can’t control who walks in the same open space as you, you can’t control who sits next to you on reserved seats. And further more you can’t control what language they speak, or religion they follow. What you can control is yourself and your own thoughts, the problem you have with these people, are just that, YOUR PROBLEM. And when you have an issue with something, you should not project it upon other people.

In other words fear often stands in the way of you achieving your dreams. You haven’t lived if you haven’t pursued what’s in your heart. It’s worth every bruise & scratch. Don’t ignore that voice inside, instead stand the fuck up and scream back to it “HERE I COME!”

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